Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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