Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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