I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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