I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
