What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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