ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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