woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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