yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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