she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
