I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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