Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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