I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
