how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
