I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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