But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
