i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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