I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize