My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
