No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize