What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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