i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
