So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
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They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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