No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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