Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I love you. Go after that dick
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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