Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
So. Much. Porn.
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