My hair reeks of homosexuality.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
