i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this boner is exhausting
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
