He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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