Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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