just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
