wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
