In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
