when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
