You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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