Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize