Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize