Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
