brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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