I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize