the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
