You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
