is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
