Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
don't judge my taste in strippers
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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