Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
