he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
