I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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