White coat. Heels.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
