why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
