you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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