I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize