On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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