that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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