I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
