speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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