google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
