There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
