Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My dick has a subreddit
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
